Friday, February 02, 2007

The Girl 4

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Waking up Not Dead…

“Freight train, each car looks the same”. Distantly, foggily, weirdly the song permeated her brain. She couldn’t move, couldn’t see and felt sick to her stomach. Gradually, her senses awoke. Ann slowly lifted her head from the arm of the couch and moved her left leg. This movement created a loud clanging sound that sent Sam running to the kitchen for cover. Seems that the eleven beer bottles, perched precariously on the coffee table, had crashed to the floor. Still groggy, Annie sat up straight, rubbed her eyes and tried to focus. It did not work. She was absolutely unable to figure out the whole scene. “Did I have a party?” she thought. Just then, like a bullet, it hit her. “I am not dead”, she surmised. “Holy shit!” she said aloud.

Standing was a horrible idea. For it produced enough change in her equilibrium, that she projectile vomited across the living room. The smell was rancid. A combination of beer and garlic (most likely from her shrimp scampi the day before) and wine (OK, so she had one glass to set the mood of death) and aspirin filled the room. The smell of the puke made her heave again. The carpet was taking a beating. After the second spell had subsided, she ran to the bathroom, got naked and jumped in the shower. Gently, she turned the knob to left the cold stinging water became tepid, then warm and finally, hot. Ann held the glass shower door for balance, moved forward and dunked her head under the steaming waterfall. She would remain there for forty-five minutes.

After the immersion, there were no more puking spells. Her stomach muscles ache from all the contractions, but the empty chamber settled down. Ironically, however, she had a massive headache. It was ironic to her because she had swallowed an entire bottle of aspirin. “What do you take for a headache brought on by aspirin?” she mused. The smile actually hurt. Making her way back to the kitchen for a glass of water, the scene of the episode was a wreck. Sam was smart enough to remain in the kitchen near her food and water bowls. She knew her owner was in trouble, so she arose to meet Annie, whom now had only a towel on for clothing. Sam licked Ann’s still wet leg, and pushed her nose under her hand. “Hey you”, Annie said.

Ann pushed the glass under the ice machine in the door of the freezer and filled a huge glass with ice and water. She took a long, slow sip of the liquid. She could not remember any time in her life that anything tasted as good as that water. She opened the latch on the back door and strolled out on the patio. It was cold in the New York morning air. She rested on a chair whose cushion had been stored for the winter. Form the patio she could see the park several lots away. There was a small child being pushed on a swing by a man. “My life can never be that simple again”, she thought. Her strength returning, she made a vow to herself. No matter how fucked up and sad her life gets, she would never try to end it again. The man and little girl were hugging. Annie felt a tear on her cheek and realized she had been crying. Just then, Sam put her paws in Ann’s lap. Their hug made Ann’s heart feel better.


Song of the Day: Better Days, by Bruce Springsteen

Thursday, February 01, 2007

The Girl 3

go to the beginning of the story

Waffles…

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day; right after dinner and lunch. Always a colossal conundrum deciding what to eat. Today is easy. It’s Monday. It’s waffle day. Not that she ever eats waffles anymore, but hell, it’s waffle day. What this means is that Ann makes waffles. Eight waffles to be exact. You see, four waffles are required for breakfast and four will be frozen for ice cream sandwiches after dinner. This was their routine.

God she misses making waffles with Ryan. He was such a great cook. He never measured any ingredient, but the result was always perfection. Conversely, no matter how meticulously she adhered to the directions, Ann’s waffles were basically Frisbees, suitable only for her dog, Sam. Sam is a whole different story. Suffice to say, she has her own host of issues.

After learning of Ryan’s death, Annie was dangerous. She considered suicide on many occasions. The most successful un-success was the aspirin episode. Not being a big fan of blood, self-mutilation and a fear of sharp objects, slitting her wrists was not an option. She also abhorred guns, so no luck there. Then she read on a website that you could actually kill yourself if you took enough aspirin. Perfect. Ann was in the abyss and this was her only way out.

She wanted to do it right. So she put on her favorite music, The Allman Brothers Band, got comfortable in jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops. Grabbed a 12 pack of her favorite beer, Yuengling, and placed in a cooler next to her couch. The website indicated that she would basically fall asleep at some point. If she was going to fall asleep anyway, she figured she should go out drunk on last time. For some reason, thinking back about that today makes her chuckle.

“OK, let’s do this”, she said, and opened beer number one. Just then, as if on cue, One Way Out came through the speakers. Annie smiled.

To be continued…


Song of the Day: One Way Out, by Allman Brothers Band